Constantly Cranky in North Carolina

Dear Crabby,

I had a total hysterectomy April 2008 at the age of 30 for endometriosis and a tumor on my right ovary. I was put on birth control pills, but decided I didn’t like the side effects and got off November 2009. After stopping the birth control pill I tried to go on my own, however I found myself hysterical. I was having so many emotions that I really thought I was having a mental breakdown. I was forced into seeing a therapist from my employer because they thought I was “stressed.” I don’t think that fits. I think psychotic fit’s better.

I am now on estrogen therapy (Premarin 0.625mg). After two weeks of being on this, I was forced to take a two-week stress-free vacation, I am actually feeling somewhat better.

I’m not married and therefore the lack of sexual desire doesn’t really bother me but the mood swings do. I feel like a 50 year-old in a 32 year-old body that is 5’2” at 186 pounds. How do I get past the happy one-minute and foaming at the mouth the next? I’m tired all the time and working 40 to 50 hours per week that makes me want to sleep all weekend. It’s a good thing I’m not married and have no children, because at the end of the day I’m exhausted.

Constantly Cranky in North Carolina

Dear Constantly Cranky,

You have a reoccurring theme in your quest for answers – the need for balance. As a busy woman, balance can be hard to find. Balance with your body, mind and spirit is a necessary step to being happy.

Step #1: Body, discuss your ET dose with your doctor

Per Dr. Klein, leading menopause expert and co-author of The Menopause Makeover, “after abrupt surgical menopause, it is generally necessary to start with a higher dose of HT, and taper down as tolerated.” Estrogen alone is prescribed for postmenopausal women who have had a total hysterectomy. This is because, without a uterus, the risk of uterine cancer is essentially absent, so there is no need for the uterine protection of progesterone.

Based on this information, I am not surprised you did not like the effects of being on the birth control pill that usually has progesterone and estrogen. Going off the birth control pill no doubt sent your hormones into chaos possibly contributing to feeling “hysterical.” Now that you feel better being on estrogen therapy (ET), you may wish to discuss your dose with your healthcare provider.

The hormone ups and downs you have experienced may be contributing to other imbalances, including moodiness.

Once you and your doctor manage hormone levels you will start to feel better.

Step #2: Make a commitment to lose weight

Being 5’2” at 186 pounds puts you in an unhealthy category according to the BMI chart. Your BMI is 34, anything over 30 is considered obese.

It is time to make a commitment to your health with weight loss being a major focus. Carrying extra weight can put you at risk of type 2 diabetes and heart disease.

Start eating five to six mini-meals a day to jumpstart your metabolism and reduce those blood sugar crashes that may be contributing to mood swings. Include lean proteins, low glycemic carbohydrates and healthy fats. Reduce your calorie intake. Use the calculators on the homepage. Take the full body analysis to determine your calorie intake for your ideal weight.

Start exercising at least 30 minutes four to five days a week. Forcing yourself to find time for exercise will help you find balance with work. Pamper yourself.

Join a dance class. Start moving for FUN. You will meet great people, and socializing will help you find balance too.

Step #3: Mind and spirit, find balance in your life

You are working long hours, and you wonder why you are tired on the weekend? You are living a stressful lifestyle that is not helping your health situation. It is time to also find balance in your LIFE. Making time for exercise and fun activities can help bring balance.

I invite you to join the Menopause Makeover online community at eharlequin.com. It is a group of supportive women who will cheer you on, share recipes and ideas. You are not alone.

Finding balance is your secret weapon to good health and happiness

Signed,
A balanced Dear Crabby

CAN’T ZIP UP HER PANTS IN MINNESOTA

Dear Crabby,

My menopause symptoms have been moderate and I feel lucky to have escaped hot flashes. But I am getting fatter by the second. I am 5 foot 3 inches tall, 46 years old and have weighed 130 pounds most of my life. Within one year I have gained a whopping 15 pounds. I am having problems with high blood pressure and I look and feel terrible. I would rather have hot flashes than turn into the Pillsbury Dough Girl. Help!

Signed,
The Pillsbury Dough Girl from Minnesota

Dear Pillsbury Dough Girl:

Weight gain may be the most difficult change that occurs during menopause. We live in a society that celebrates young, skinny women. When we start to gain weight, whether it’s from childbirth, bad eating habits, lack of exercise, aging or menopause it is emotionally depressing. Your weight history seems stable and healthy, no doubt you have good eating and exercising habits. As your hormones fluctuate during menopause you start shifting fat to your mid-section because your progesterone and estrogen levels decrease. Progesterone increases your metabolism. As it decreases during menopause, so does your metabolism.

Women gain an average of one pound per year starting in their late thirties due to a loss of muscle mass and slowing metabolism. This can add weight as well. You are 46 years old, and if you started gaining that one pound per year starting at 38, that equals eight pounds. Over half the additional weight you are now noticing during menopause.

Fluctuating hormones during menopause can cause an increase in weight and natural aging. Poor food choices and lack of exercise are unforgiving at this time in your life. If you already have a good exercise program, you may need to increase the time and intensity of your routine. If you eat well, cutting portions may yield results.

Start keeping a food and exercise diary. Record your menopause symptoms. According to the BMI (Body Mass Index) charts you are not obese, but considered slightly overweight for your height. This is the perfect time to make food and exercise adjustments. As you have experienced, being overweight raises your risk of many diseases such as high blood pressure. Doing 30 minutes of exercise most days of the week may help maintain your current weight. Exercising one hour a day is optimum. Studies have shown that people who briskly walk 30 minutes daily lost up to 30 pounds over time and lowered their blood pressure.

Try incorporating a 30-minute power walk most days of the week, cutting your eating portions and discuss hormone therapy with your doctor. For faster results, exercise 60 minutes a day.

Signed,
A Zipped Up Dear Crabby

Write to Dear Crabby and get advice about your menopausal symptoms.
If you have:
• Hot flashes
• Itchy skin
• Breast tenderness
• Mood swings
• Memory lapses
• Fuzzy thinking
• Night sweats
• Sleep problems
• Loss of libido
• Dry vagina
• Irregular periods
• Headaches

Dear Crabby has tips to make your life easier.
She wants to hear from YOU.
Send your questions to: DearCrabby@MenopauseMakeover.com

STRESSED OUT AND NOT IN THE HOLIDAY TO-DO MOOD

Dear Crabby,

It’s been a rough year suffering from miserable menopause symptoms. I have gained a lot of weight, I am always cranky, my skin has started to drastically age, my hot flashes hit me every few hours, and I feel like no one understands what I am going through. I am not in the “giving” mood this year, freaking out that I won’t get through my holiday “to-do” list, and feeling stressed out.
Bah, Humbug from Minnesota

Dear Bah Humbug,

Holiday responsibilities can be difficult with 99 percent of all women experiencing stress and panic attacks this time of year. Throw in one of the biggest transitions of your life, menopause, and it is no surprise you are freaking out, not in the “giving” mood, and feeling stressed out.

First, let’s address your physical menopause symptoms. Weight gain, irritability, skin changes and hot flashes may be symptoms of fluctuating hormones. Make an appointment with your doctor to discuss your symptoms and possible treatments. Once you decide on a symptom treatment program, you will hopefully start to feel better. Going through physical changes can be stressful.

Second, menopause usually happens as the natural aging process kicks in. If you’ve practiced a lifetime of poor eating choices and lack of exercise, it’s unforgiving during menopause. Now is the time to start eating nutritiously, exercising regularly, and dedicating time to pampering.

Regarding your skin, treat yourself to a holiday makeover. Visit your favorite make-up counter. A new cleansing/moisturizing program may restore your radiant complexion.

Visit your practitioner to discuss symptoms. Start eating a healthy diet and exercising. Make time to pamper yourself.

If you practice a few of these Stress-Free Holiday Tips you may just survive your “to-do” list and the holiday season.

10 Tips for a Stress-Free Holiday

1. Keep expectations reasonable. Planning parties and decorating are stressful tasks. Instead of planning a big holiday party, plan a day to celebrate the holiday at the spa with your closest friends. Keep your schedule open to attend a few parties, not give them. Instead of decorating your home and a Christmas tree, put a lovely wreath on the front door, place a small-planted evergreen in the living room and enjoy colorful candles around the home.

2. Communicate with your loved ones. Let them know you are going through changes, and that you plan to get some rest this holiday and would appreciate their support.

3. Limit your alcohol intake. Holiday parties are often centered on drinking. Try to “nurse” one glass of wine for the evening. Remember alcohol is loaded with extra calories. I ask for “water on the rocks with a twist” – it is fun, always gets a reaction, is calorie free and keeps you hydrated.

4. Quiet time. Plan a half hour a day to sit quietly. Find a spot in your home in a comfy chair. Close your eyes, and take long deep breathes. Breathe in thinking of good health and happiness and breathe out stress and frustration.

5. Eat a healthy diet. Eat more vegetables, whole grains, fruits and low-fat foods. You will have more energy.

6. Start exercising. Take a 30-minute walk. Not only will you burn calories, you will feel more relaxed.

7. Manage your time. Cut your to-do list in half this year.

8. Send e-cards this year. It is fast, easy, free and fun. This will save you time, money, paper and postage.

9. Have a sense of humor. Dealing with relatives over the holidays can be stressful. If relatives are visiting you for the holiday, ask them to book a hotel for their stay. Keeping your home a sanctuary during your menopause transition is important. If a relative is driving you crazy, try to be cheerful and laugh it off.

10. Keep a budget. Dealing with extra holiday expenses is also extremely stressful. To buffer this a bit, try making homemade gifts or let your loved ones know that this year the gift theme is ‘to spend less than $20 per person per gift’. Don’t forget, shopping on-line will save time and frustration at the malls.

Remember menopause is a natural transition. The holidays can be a joyful time if you embrace your changes and make a few holiday stress-free adjustments to your agenda. The greatest gift you can give…. is to take care of yourself, and when you do, you will want to give to others.

Signed,
A less stressed Dear Crabby wishing you a Happy Holiday!

Write to Dear Crabby for information on menopause symptoms.

If you have:
• Hot flashes
• Itchy skin
• Breast tenderness
• Mood swings
• Memory lapses
• Fuzzy thinking
• Night sweats
• Sleep problems
• Loss of libido
• Dry vagina
• Irregular periods
• Headaches

Dear Crabby has tips to make your life easier.
She wants to hear from YOU.
Send your questions to: DearCrabby@MenopauseMakeover.com

Dear Crabby,

The past year I have been suffering from night sweats, a low libido, irregular periods and terrible moodiness. I think I am perimenopausal, but my general practitioner says it is stress from my divorce (yes, I am getting a divorce on top of everything else). I live in a small town and irritated that there are few doctor choices. How can I find a menopause healthcare provider in my area? I don’t mind driving a couple of hours; I just want to start feeling better.

Signed,
Irritated in Idaho

_______________________

Dear Irritated,

It is no surprise you are frustrated suffering both physically and emotionally. I applaud your commitment to find a healthcare provider who is right for you.

Fortunately, there is a wonderful nonprofit organization that can help you find a menopause clinician in your area with a click of a button! Founded in 1989, The North American Menopause Society (NAMS) is North America’s leading nonprofit organization dedicated to promoting the health and quality of life of women through an understanding of menopause. What I like about NAMS is that they provide information that is both accurate and unbiased, not for or against any point of view. They have a link on their homepage to “Find a Menopause Clinician.” It is located at the bottom of the homepage. After you click that link, you will be directed to enter either your US ZIP Code, State/Province, or Country, then click “Search” button. A list of clinicians will be presented.

I took the liberty of checking practitioners in your area and noted five NAMS Certified Menopause Practitioners, all accepting new patients!

Signed,
Dear Crabby
Who believes no one should go through menopause feeling “irritated”

Write to Dear Crabby and get advice about your menopausal symptoms.
If you have:
• Hot flashes
• Itchy skin
• Breast tenderness
• Mood swings
• Memory lapses
• Fuzzy thinking
• Night sweats
• Sleep problems
• Loss of libido
• Dry vagina
• Irregular periods
• Headaches
Dear Crabby has tips to make your life easier.
She wants to hear from YOU.
Send your questions to: DearCrabby@MenopauseMakeover.com

In No Mood for a Period during Vacation

Dear Crabby,

My husband and I are going on a cruise in about 3 weeks. I thought I would have my next period by now but haven’t. Actually I had one in June on the regular date and skipped July and had another in August but about 2 weeks before the normal date.

This all does not bother me because I do know these are all symptoms of menopause starting. But my question is, about anything I can do to control my period not starting on the trip.

I can’t get into my regular doc before we go.

Thanks!

In No Mood for a Period during Vacation

__________________

Dear In No Mood for a Period,

The most common symptom women notice during perimenopause is both menstrual flow and frequency changes. Per the North American Menopause Society, approximately 90% of women experience 4 to 8 years of menstrual changes before natural menopause. Some women experience lighter bleeding while others have heavier bleeding. The cycle length may also change, or you may completely skip a period. Every woman will experience a pattern that is irregular for her. We are all different.

Changes in your menstrual patterns and flow are considered normal during perimenopause, and are attributed to decreased frequency of ovulation and changing levels of ovarian secreted hormones.

Whether a woman is menopausal or not, wishing to manipulate your period start date, so it does not occur on a special occasion, is an age-old desire!

Many women who have irregular periods find success using a low-dose combination estrogen-progestin oral contraceptive. Clinical trails have demonstrated that oral contraceptives have normalized irregular bleeding and decreased menstrual flow.

Seasonale and Seasonique are oral contraceptive products that are formulated so you get your period about once every three months. Lybrel is another low-dose extended-use combined oral contraceptive that is formulated to be taken for one year with no breaks, no periods. These products also provide birth control, something perimenopausal women must consider until they have reached menopause (12 months without a period). Oral contraceptives may also provide relief for hot flashes, night sweats and menopausal crankiness.

Discuss these options and your risk factors (are you a smoker, high blood pressure, personal history of stroke, heart attack, blood clot or liver disease, breast or uterus cancer, or history of thrombosis) with your doctor.

You mentioned that you cannot get in to see your doctor, try a phone call – a brief conversation may answer your questions and/or requests.

If you are not a good candidate for oral contraceptives or prefer not to take them, consider embracing Mother Nature.

Have a wonderful cruise!

Signed,
Dear Crabby

Write to Dear Crabby and get advice about your menopausal symptoms.
If you have:
• Hot flashes
• Itchy skin
• Breast tenderness
• Mood swings
• Memory lapses
• Fuzzy thinking
• Night sweats
• Sleep problems
• Loss of libido
• Dry vagina
• Irregular periods
• Headaches

Dear Crabby has tips to make your life easier.
She wants to hear from YOU.
Send your questions to: DearCrabby@MenopauseMakeover.com

Resources:
The North American Menopause Society, “Menopause Practice a Clinician’s Guide”
www.menopause.org
Mayo Clinic
www.mayoclinic.com

POUNDING HEART FROM OREGON

Dear Crabby,

How long do heart palpitations last going through menopause? I have had them for almost 2 years. I already had my heart checked and all is okay. I am on oral natural progesterone which helps some. Is this a fairly common symptom of menopause?
Signed,
Pounding Heart from Oregon

Dear Pounding Heart,

Yes, for some, heart palpitations can be a common occurrence during menopause.

During menopause, heart palpitations can be scary, happening at inappropriate times. Sometimes palpitations accompany hot flashes.

Keep a hot flash/heart palpitation diary.

No one knows for sure why some women suffer from heart palpitations during menopause. It is often attributed to hormonal fluctuation. You may wish to discuss hormonal balance with your healthcare provider. Usually heart palpitations go away within a few months after your hormones have settled down. Hormonal balance often relieves heart palpitations.

If you suspect heart disease or if heart disease runs in your family, discuss these symptoms with your healthcare provider. From your inquiry it appears that you have had your heart health checked by your doctor. This is good news.

The most common non-hormonal cause of heart palpitations is ingesting too many stimulants: alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, decongestants, and diet pills all contain chemicals that stimulate the heart. Too much of these stimulants can confuse your heart and cause it to beat out of control.

Other causes of heart palpitations could be more serious and require medical attention: anemia, hypoglycemia, and certain thyroid conditions.

Stress can also cause irregular heartbeats. Practice relaxation techniques.

Consider:

-Limiting alcohol and caffeinated beverages
-Do not smoke
-Exercise regularly, after discussing with your doctor
-Avoid stimulant medications
-Decrease stress
-Keep blood pressure and cholesterol under control
-Manage a healthy weight
-Practice relaxation techniques
-Avoid activities that tend to activate or increase your palpitations
-Tracking your heart palpitations may help identify triggers.
-Make sure to share your heart palpitation journal with your clinician. Even if you have previously talked with your doctor regarding your heart palpitations, it is still important to inform her that they are continuing.

I am not a doctor, and encourage you to continue communication with your healthcare provider. I applaud your commitment to seek out information. We are all different. It is important to maintain good health, eat healthy and exercise during menopause.

Once I obtained hormone balance my heart palpitations disappeared. It took a few tries with different hormone therapies before finding a program that effectively managed my menopause symptoms.

If you need a second opinion, The North American Menopause Society has a wonderful list of healthcare providers:

http://www.menopause.org/cliniciansus.pdf

I hope the next heart pounding experience you encounter is one stimulated by love – not fluctuating hormones.

Signed,
A calmer Dear Crabby

NOTE: Pounding Heart from Oregon continued her search for heart palpitations solutions working closely with a naturopath. She discovered taking a compounded progesterone lozenger place under the tongue helped with heart palpitations. If her symptoms worsen she will consider estrogen/progesterone therapy. I applaud Pounding Heart for her extensive research and exercising an open conversation with her healthcare provider. It is the first step to managing menopause. We are all different. Each of us will have different solutions to treating menopause symptoms.

Write to Dear Crabby and get advice about your menopausal symptoms.
If you have:
• Hot flashes
• Itchy skin
• Breast tenderness
• Mood swings
• Memory lapses
• Fuzzy thinking
• Night sweats
• Sleep problems
• Loss of libido
• Dry vagina
• Irregular periods
• Headaches

Dear Crabby has tips to make your life easier.
She wants to hear from YOU.
Send your questions to: DearCrabby@MenopauseMakeover.com

IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE IN CINCINNATI

Dear Crabby,

My doctor has informed me that I am in perimenopause. My children are grown and it would be a relief if I no longer had to worry about birth control. I have used a diaphragm most of my adult life with great success, but it is inconvenient and kills “the mood”. In addition, my periods have been irregular. Do I still need to use birth control?

IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE IN CINCINNATI

DEAR IN THE MOOD:

The good news is you are “in the mood”. Many women experiencing perimenopausal symptoms lose their interest in sex. If your only concern is birth control-lucky you!

One of the benefits of menopause or post menopause is not worrying about birth control.

First, let’s define the three stages of menopause:

Perimenopause begins about 6-8 years before you reach menopause. During this time the levels of hormones produced by your ovaries start to fluctuate leading to irregular menstrual patterns; such as, irregularity in the length of the period, the time between periods, and the level of flow. At this time you are ovulating on and off, so you could become pregnant. Other common perimenopause symptoms are: hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, vaginal dryness, weight gain, fluctuations in sexual desire, fuzzy thinking, trouble sleeping, fatigue and depression.

You are officially in menopause when you haven’t had a period for 12 consecutive months. At this point there are no more eggs left for your ovaries to release and pregnancy is impossible.

Post-Menopause is the period of life after you have reached menopause.

Since you are perimenopausal and still having periods it is advisable to continue practicing birth control because your ovaries have not completely stopped producing hormones. You may still ovulate and could become pregnant.

When your ovaries start producing lower levels of hormones you begin to experience symptoms associated with perimenopause. Irregular periods can be the first symptom you notice. Because your natural cycle is changing, some months you may ovulate and some months you may not. Menopause happens when the ovaries stop making enough hormones to stimulate your monthly cycle then your periods stop permanently. Only then can you stop worrying birth control. It is advisable you get confirmation from your doctor.

Since using a diaphragm for birth control can be inconvenient, and “kill the mood”, you may wish to consider one of these other methods of birth control.

Top five most popular forms of birth control

-Birth control pill, 96-99% effective. Using “the pill” is not only effective at birth control (diaphragms are only 85-90% effective) but the pill can help with perimenopausal symptoms. You may wish to discuss this option with your doctor.
-Condoms, 90-95% effective.
-Vasectomy, 100% effective. Many couples opt for this option after they have had their children.
-IUD (Intrauterine device) last six to ten years. This permanent device allows you to be “in the mood” without disrupting spontaneity.
-Norplant, a chemical contraceptive, is a match-sized rod that is inserted into the woman’s arm. It is time released into the woman’s system for up to five years.

Of course, abstinence is 100% full proof, but you signed your letter “in the mood,” so I’m sure that wouldn’t be an option. Continue practicing birth control until your doctor confirms that you are in menopause. If you have more than one partner, practice SAFE sex to avoid any sexually transmitted diseases.

Signed,
Less Crabby practicing birth control

Write to Dear Crabby and get advice about your menopausal symptoms.
If you have:
• Hot flashes
• Itchy skin
• Breast tenderness
• Mood swings
• Memory lapses
• Fuzzy thinking
• Night sweats
• Sleep problems
• Loss of libido
• Dry vagina
• Irregular periods
• Headaches

Dear Crabby has tips to make your life easier.
She wants to hear from YOU.
Send your questions to: DearCrabby@MenopauseMakeover.com

NO LONGER INTERESTED IN SEX AND THE DREADED DRY VAGINA

Dear Crabby,

My husband and I have been married for over 10 years and we’ve always enjoyed an active, healthy sex life. Lately, I have been losing sleep because I am no longer interested in sex. When we do make love, my vagina is completely dry and it makes intercourse almost impossible. My sex drive is completely gone. My husband has become very “Crabby”, and I have completely shut down physically.

I am 46 years old, and my periods have become irregular. I suspect that I may be perimenopausal. It has been almost six months since our last sexual encounter and I’m afraid my husband will start looking somewhere else for it. I feel guilty of not “pleasing” him anymore, but even more guilty of not even “wanting” to. Once a woman’s period stops, is it normal to not want sex because we are no longer “baby makers”? Am I “guilty” of losing interest in sex and not pleasing my husband?

GUILTY IN SEATTLE

DEAR GUILTY IN SEATTLE:

The only thing you may be “guilty” of is not having all the facts so you can continue to have a healthy sex life.

Vaginal dryness is a common menopause symptom. Intercourse can be painful if you are experiencing vaginal dryness. When estrogen levels drop, vaginal dryness can occur. Your vagina can tear more easily from friction, and the vagina tissues can lose their elasticity. Estrogen plumps up the cells in the vaginal wall so they produce more lubrication.

It is important to discuss this with your doctor to confirm that you are not suffering from a vaginal infection. Not only does the physical act of intercourse become a challenge with vaginal dryness, the emotional dialogue that goes on in your head when you no longer lubricate naturally, makes the whole encounter stressful. You ask yourself, “Why am I not turned on? He’s doing all the things I like.” Then you think, “What must HE be thinking? Does he think HE doesn’t turn me on?” Next you suspect, “It’s me, what’s wrong with me?” Your only option is to say, “I have a headache”, then roll over and cry yourself to sleep. No wonder you are sleepless and no longer interested in sex.

There is good news. Option #1: Low dose hormone therapy may bring relief. Option #2: A bioadhesive lubricant, such as AstroGlide that can be purchased over-the-counter, may bring instant relief. Option #3: If vaginal dryness is your only menopause symptom, you may consider using an estrogen cream applied vaginally.

The loss of libido is another common symptom of perimenopause straight through post menopause. The loss of libido can also result from fluctuating hormone levels. Don’t let a decrease in hormone levels blow the flame of desire out of your love life, visit your doctor, take the appropriate tests and discuss treatment options.

Certain medications may also contribute to a declining libido: blood pressure, depression, heart disease, or diabetes medications.

If you need to treat your relationship, visit a counselor.

Besides the effects of menopause, it is also normal for your libido to decline with age. Between the ages of 55 and 65 sexual activity slows for men and women.

A healthy sex life is possible during and after menopause.

If buying lubrication, getting blood tests, and discussing hormones with your doctor seem like an effort, check out the amazing benefits of sex:

-Sex burns about 200 calories during 30 minutes of active sex.
-Regular sex promotes circulation and lubrication!
-Having sex three times a week can make you look and feel ten years younger, thus boosting self esteem.
-Sex is the safest sport you’ll ever enjoy.
-Sex releases endorphins into the bloodstream producing a sense of euphoria, that can reduce depression.
-Sex is a stress reliever. It is ten times more effective than Valium.
-Sex can relieve headaches by releasing the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
-Sex is a natural antihistamine that can help with asthma and hay fever.
-Sex can lower your cholesterol by tipping the HDL/LSL (good kind/bad kind) cholesterol balance towards the HDL (good) side.
-Regular sex can boost estrogen levels. Estrogen keeps your hair shinny, skin smooth; helps reduce the chances of getting dermatitis, and rashes.
-The actual sex act triggers the release of oxytocin that promotes more good feelings.
-Sex can help you sleep better because the levels of oxytocin, a sleep-inducing hormone, can be 5 times higher than normal during love making.

Now, let’s chat about your “guilt”. Women get joy out of pleasing the people we love, especially our wonderful partners. Of the two species, women are usually the “pleasers”. When something changes and we can’t please everyone as we used to, it is common to feel guilty. During perimenopause, menopause and post menopause our bodies are going through natural changes. This is nothing to feel guilty over. Just as our bodies go through a transition during puberty, our bodies also go through a transition as we end our childbearing years. This is a time when we need to pamper ourselves. We may have a little less time to give to others as we devote time to ourselves during this menopausal transition. This is a good time to find other friends going through the same thing, share information, lend support and compare experiences. Talking about “it” can make you feel better. It is a perfect time to build strong communication skills with your partner. The more your partner understands your menopausal journey the more supported you may feel regarding your insecurities.

Purchase a bioadhesive lubricant (Astroglide), visit your practitioner and discuss treatment options, take time for pampering, and being sleepless should only happen because you are making love to your Prince Charming.

Signed,
Less Crabby and More Loving

PS. A note to menopausal women who are in the dating world with more than one partner…. practice safe sex. You may be able to get pregnant and you want to avoid getting a sexually transmitted disease or AIDS.

Write to Dear Crabby and get advice about your menopausal symptoms.
If you have:
• Hot flashes
• Itchy skin
• Breast tenderness
• Mood swings
• Memory lapses
• Fuzzy thinking
• Night sweats
• Sleep problems
• Loss of libido
• Dry vagina
• Irregular periods
• Headaches

Dear Crabby has tips to make your life easier.
She wants to hear from YOU.
Send your questions to: DearCrabby@MenopauseMakeover.com